Update..

I have been asked to update my blog! LOL. Things have been so crazy over the past few weeks. Moving in with my boyfriend, rehearsal, finding a new job and so much more! Things are so amazing right now. I have never been happier. J (my boyfriend is J) and I are so happy. I have never felt so much love from a person. He is always concerned for my welfare and looks out for me.

"Hun, we need to get a nightlight so when you get home from rehearsal and I am in bed you don't have to scramble in the dark."

How cute is that?!

I can't express the love that I have for J. He makes me want to be a better person and I desire so much to make him happy! Yesterday he suggested we get matching rings and I agree with him. He is mine and I am his. We love each other and I am so grateful for him.

:)

PISSED...

Someone has contacted the bishop or stake president in the area that I live. I got a letter in the mail today letting me know who my home teachers are and when a stake activity is taking place. I suspect either my dad or roommate. This is something my dad would do to avoid talking to me about the issue that I haven't talked to him about which I suspect he knows about.

PISSED.

Right or Wrong?

A guy I was in the MTC with messaged me on Facebook tonight. I told him I was released early from my mission for health problems. This was his response..

Oh man, I'm sorry. But hey, as long as you're still working hard and doing what you know is right, that's the only thing that matters.

Good luck in your endeavors Elder.

Um, I don't think he knows I date boys! I kissed the cute boys I have been seeing tonight. I know this is right for me. Is his comment still valid then? LOL.

WOW..

I just got back from the most amazing 9 HOUR date I have EVER been on! More details to come!

Insecurities..

I am feeling really insecure today. I went to rehearsal this morning and was really excited! We began to block and choreograph the scene and then they switched casts. I knew from the beginning that my double was good.. but I had no idea how good. This kid is amazing. He has so much talent and if he works hard he will go really far in life. He also has the advantage or being super cute.

I feel so terrible. I pretty much made a fool of myself today. Yes, I may have years more experience than him, but this kid has natural talent. I was up there feeling skinny and kinda old. I am going to have to work my butt off to get past this stage. I want to be good in this show and show everyone that I have talent, but at this moment in time I feel like a failure and I feel as though they should have cast someone else.

I am loving every minute of the show, I just need to buckle down and work and prove that I am worth this opportunity. I hope this hasn't discouraged any of you from seeing my show, but I just had to vent this little problem that is eating away at me internally.

Rehearsals..

I've started rehearsals for my show and I have forgotten how tiring and strenuous it can be! It's really fun, tons of musical, dancing gay boys and lots of laughs. I am excited for many of you to see my show!

Wow.. What A Night...

Today was my friends 21st birthday and we went to the Tavernacle to party. I didn't drink but had a really good time making fun of all the drunk singers and their "incredible" voices.

I did have two experiences that I want to blog about because I am not sure how to feel about them. As I walked up to the DJ booth to put in my song request, the guy who took my ticket stared me down and smiled. I was kind of flattered, but at the same time I knew he was probably drunk or at least on his way to be.

The second experience happened when a friend and I finished our duet, they made me stay up on stage to sing the solo I had requested. I am not sure what was said by the second DJ, but a few comments were made and first DJ boy yelled out,

"..and he's super cute too!"

WOW. I didn't even know what to say. I was kind of embarrassed but I smiled and went about my own business.

Is this how the stereotypical gay world is? Do guys really cat call other men? I am grateful that I know what I want in life and that I am willing to put forth the effort to stick to those standards that I've set for myself. All in all, I had a good time with my friend and came out sober, but smelled like an ashtray. :/

I still have never had a drop of alcohol in my life.

My Life Recently..

I started rehearsal for my show yesterday and it was so nice. One of the older actors in the show came up to me and complimented me on my audition. He said I did a really good job and he enjoyed it. It has been a while since I was complimented on acting ability. I graciously thanked him and smiled. It was very nice of him and I feel really blessed to be in such a good cast.

I have been thinking about my relationship status.

SINGLE

I think I am ready to start dating again. I put myself out there the best I know how and it doesn't seem to pay off. I don't do the stereotypical "gay" things in regards to finding people to date, so the pickings are slim. Here is me in a nutshell and what I am looking for in a boyfriend.

I am really easy going.

I can get along with most people pretty easily.

I am a good listener and I can listen or talk with someone for hours.

I enjoy romantic things:

~Long walks
~Hand holding
~Cuddle time
~Kissing
~Small tokens of love and appreciation

I like enjoy being with the person I love.

I am not afraid to be myself.

I have the perfect shoulder to cry on.

The things I am looking for in a relationship:

Someone who is completely honest about everything.

Someone who will love me for me.

Someone who isn't afraid to be themselves.

Someone who can be assertive, yet sensitive.

Someone who will sneak up behind me and hug me because they care.

Someone who will hold my hand at random times.

Someone who likes to cuddle.

Someone who will send me little messages through the day whether it me an email or text message.

Someone who likes little day hikes and picnics.

Someone who is concerned for my welfare as well as those I love.

Someone who will support the decisions I make. I.e. work, school, hobbies.. etc.

There are more things I am looking for in a boyfriend, but these are just the starters.

Prop 8 - The Musical

"Prop 8 - The Musical" starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, and many more... from Jack Black

Sanctimonious Prick..

I just took the "What Does Jesus Think of You?" quiz on Facebook. Here is what it said.

Jesus thinks you're a Sanctimonious Prick

He's tired of your shit. Nobody thinks you're different, or interesting, or cool. Certainly not the Saviour of all Men. Jesus wants you to quit being such a tool.

Wow. I'm speechless.

New Stuff..

I took some risks today. I stepped out of my comfort zone many times. I finally auditioned for theater school after four years of putting it off. I made some new friends and put myself on the line.

Feels good.

Q&A..

My sister brought home a Q&A sheet handed out by their seminary teachers about same gender attraction.

The thing that made my mom mad was when a GA compared SSA to having a physical ailment or a mental handicap. Do I look deformed or appear to be mentally crazed? I sure as heck don't think so.

My sister raised her hand in seminary and told the class that it's not a choice and it doesn't matter if someone is gay.

My brother on the other hand was so mad he didn't say a word and refused to take the sheet that was handed to him.

Props go to my awesome siblings.